2006-03-03
It wasn’t the best day to do it. Slow heavy snowflakes were falling and the temperature was in the high twenties Fahrenheit. But yesterday I had no contact with her at all, and when she called she sounded irritated that we hadn’t spoken since we were cut off on Wednesday evening as I drove home. ‘Don’t you want to meet me then?’Not the best day too because Lynne had taken my car away. And so I had to walk in the snow, coughing my guts up at the sharp cold air and then when I got there she was so late I was actually contemplating calling a taxi to go back, assuming that something had come up to prevent her making it.
The usual paranoia (a sharp reminder now how very much she lives in fear if she can be concerned about store security cameras recording our being together, a whole ocean and continent away from Dave), and barely looking at me. But then when we were alone in her car at last a strong hug, a kiss, and a pleasant chat all the time just naturally holding my hand. The usual complaints about in-laws, the illnesses, the description of home without the detail of the relationship itself.
She said she likes living in California because she’s isolated. She spends long periods of time alone with her children and can do what she chooses with them. No-one judges, no-one is interested. No hassles. And she looked well – more healthy than before she left . The climate did seem to have had its benefits.
And then too soon the time was over and I had to skulk back to work and gloss over where I’d been. My shoes and hair wet from the walk in the snow, just a slight smudge of her lip-gloss on my lips.